The Struggles and Triumphs of a Bodybuilder

Stepping off the Northglenn, Colorado stage at her first bodybuilding competition in April, Alianna decided she would never compete again.

Despite placing second in her very first competition, she decided she had simply ignored her body for too long, and at the age of 19 she was not in a place to risk the future of her health. After 16 weeks of preparation – called the prep phase by fellow bodybuilders – Alianna’s mind and body were facing the consequences that came with readying for a show.

When she first made the decision to grow, chisel, and sculpt her body for the stage Alianna did not understand just how expensive, time consuming, mentally draining, or addictive the sport of bodybuilding was. While exact numbers are difficult to trace, it is estimated that Alianna was joining a community of thousands of individuals that also competed in bodybuilding shows. The International Federation of Bodybuilding and Fitness (IFBB), one of the main organizers of competitions around the world, reports over 30,000 registered bodybuilders in their community alone. The fitness industry, which is tied closely with that of the bodybuilding industry, is reportedly worth $87 billion and is growing every year. So, while bodybuilding itself is not a mainstream sport, Alianna had a vast community supporting her on her journey to the competition stage.

Alianna’s own prep phase was a learning period for her, and she found what she learned was, at times, not always constructive.

This is largely due to the restrictive way bodybuilders are forced to look at food during their preparation for a competition.

A main part of prep is bulking and cutting. Bulking is the period in which bodybuilders focus their efforts on as much muscle growth as possible. To accomplish this goal they focus their diet on foods dense in nutrients and calories. Gaining weight is essential to this process, so eating a surplus of calories is necessary. To ensure that they get in all the calories and protein required of them bodybuilders often eat as many as seven meals a day. Bulking is often done over the course of six months to a year.

On the other hand, cutting is the process of losing body fat, while maintaining as much muscle as possible. Diets, during this phase, are focused on calorie deficits, while staying high in nutrients. On average the cutting phase lasts about 12 weeks for professional bodybuilders. This period, though much shorter than bulking, is equally, if not more, important to a competitor’s show-day physique. As one can imagine, this process is incredibly harsh on the human body.

Alianna’s experience with the cutting process in particular involved a learning curve. Aliana consumed around 230 grams of protein, 1,000 calories, and only 10 to 20 grams of fat a day during a large chunk of her prep phase. As she neared competition day, those calorie allowances became even fewer. To get in as much protein as she needed to, Alianna was eating five meals a day and buying 14.4 pounds of tilapia a week from Costco. She often consumed around a pound of broccoli, or other vegetable equivalents such as asparagus, brussels sprouts, or cucumber, per meal. Her fat allowance was depleted almost entirely by the oils that she cooked her meals with. The only carbs that she was allowed were rice cakes and brown rice, while her snack times were full of protein shakes and sugar-free Jell-O. Her grocery bills often equated to around $250 to $300 per week during this time. 

Alianna’s body paid a steep price for her decision to participate in this process. Her hormones became incredibly imbalanced, resulting in the loss of her period for nearly half a year. Her liver went into shock and caused her to lose her ability to hold her bladder throughout the course of a night. As someone who was sure of her desire to have a family someday, Alianna was worried about being healthy enough to do so.

Health problems are common amongst bodybuilders. Various heart problems manifest in male bodybuilders earlier than they do in non-bodybuilders. The prevalence of anabolic steroid use in the sport is largely to blame for this disparity, Sports Med reports.

Alianna does not participate in the use of anabolic steroids to enhance her physique, but she is the exception rather than the rule for this. Her own coach Rick Jones was a dedicated steroid user during the height of his bodybuilding career.

“I was getting ready for competitions and doing large cycles of anabolic steroids,” Jones explained.

Jones, who got into bodybuilding as a way to deter his bullies, became engrossed in the darker, steroid-filled side of bodybuilding early on in his journey. Health problems followed him through this period.

He spent time in prison for his drug use as well. Jones was caught smuggling steroids into the United States from Mexico at the height of his steroid abuse, something he explained was a means to an end. Steroids can come with a great cost. Prescription steroid injections typically cost between $100 to 300 per injection, Healthline reports. For individuals without a prescription and who want to take large, frequent cycles of the drug as a means of gaining muscle mass, the drug can easily cost over $1,000 a month. For Jones smuggling the illicit drug across international borders not only fueled his own addiction, but also helped make him some additional money.

Now retired from bodybuilding, Jones owns Customized Nutrition and Exercise Gym in Boulder, Colorado where he encourages those he coaches to stay as far away from steroids as they can. Still, the problem and prevalence amongst competitors persists. 

Paul Fetters, a now retired bodybuilder who competed in 44 shows over a 40 year career, explained the mindset many bodybuilders have when it comes to steroid use. “I just want to be the biggest guy at my funeral,” Fetters joked.

Fetters, who once won the same Mr. America title as bodybuilding icon Arnold Schwarzenegger, has spent his life engrossed in the bodybuilding world.

“Guys are being told they’re wasting their time if they don’t do [steroids],” he said.

For Fetters, health matters more than how impressive one can mold their physique into being. He now owns a nutrition-focused company called Balanced Habits with his wife, where they hope to encourage gym goers to live a more well-rounded, healthy lifestyle.  

Another area of deterioration for Alianna during her prep phase was her mental health. The health problems she faced played a part in this. However, Alianna attributes this mostly to the intense daily schedule she was forced to keep in order to pay the bills.

“At the time I was doing my first show I was working four jobs,” Alianna explained.

Alianna’s four jobs consisted of bartending, working at her coach’s gym, private training, and her own interior design business. On a particularly bad day she found herself leaving her bartending job at 1 a.m., starting her private training job at 4 a.m., working at her coach’s gym through the afternoon, and attempting to reply to client emails for her interior design business throughout the course of her day. 

Finances became central to Alianna’s first competition. From coaching fees to swimsuit costs, posing classes, exorbitant weekly grocery bills, and gym costs, just to name a few things, Alianna found herself overwhelmed by the money that goes into the preparation for a single show. The daily work schedule she maintained to manage those costs took its toll on her mental health. 

“I was in such a dark place,” she said. “You’re so tired that you’re so incredibly emotional.”

Pairing this with the newly developed rocky relationship with food, Alianna’s mental health struggled more than it ever had before. During the prep phase for her show, Alianna spent hours scrolling through Instagram looking at photos and videos of various food items that she was unable to consume.

 “My mouth would legitimately water at the sight of a Crumble cookie on Instagram,” she joked.

Despite being in the best shape of her entire life she struggled to enjoy what she saw when she looked at herself in the mirror.

She became highly critical of her physique, often in ways she hadn’t known to be before she began bodybuilding. This intensified in the months following her first show.

It is common for bodybuilders to experience a large weight gain in a relatively short period of time following a show. While most of this can be attributed to water weight it is also common for bodybuilders to overindulge once the restrictions on what they can and cannot eat are lifted. Though Alianna worked hard to remind herself of this fact, she was not immune to the struggles many of her competitors also faced. She once again struggled to like the image she had crafted of herself in the months after her show. 

“It’s hard to go from being so lean to being so huge,” she said.

Her mental health and body image struggles were more intertwined than ever in these months following her first show.

However, now that she has had time and distance from the world of bodybuilding, Alianna has decided that she will compete once again. This was not an easy decision for her to come to.

While it was true bodybuilding had challenged her in ways she never expected, she also came to realize what it had added to her life: direction and goals. 

Alianna’s entrance into the bodybuilding world began somewhat as an accident. When the dancing world she had known faded into oblivion following a car accident that left her unable to continue she found herself without a sense of direction or passion.

Bodybuilding was not her first choice. Rather she turned to CrossFit for a renewed path in life. The problem with CrossFit was that it did not offer her the same level of competition or ability to maintain complete control over her body in the ways she was accustomed to as a lifelong dancer. And so, after months of CrossFit and gym workouts, Alianna turned to bodybuilding to give herself a goal to work towards. 

“I needed something to drive my passion because I’m a very goal driven person,” said Alianna.

Bodybuilding offered her that drive, competition, and sense of control she had become accustomed to as a dancer. Bodybuilding competitions gave her an ultimate goal to work towards, and to achieve her goals she had to maintain expert control over how her body developed and changed. The leap from dance to bodybuilding was not as far-fetched as it may have seemed at the time. It gave her a renewed sense of purpose. 

Bodybuilding also gave her a profound sense of accomplishment. Following months of intense preparation for her show Alianna was able to take the stage in front of her friends and family while being in what she calls the best shape of her life. When describing the feelings associated with her first show Alianna explained, “that was the first time I think I was actually proud of myself.”

In the world of competitive endurance sports, this path towards purpose through exercise is common. Doctor Ronald Duren Jr. of the University of Colorado Boulder, whose expertise lies with endurance athletics and athletes, gave some insight into this:

“Sports can become central to an individual’s identity,” Duren explained. “Their self-worth may become intertwined with their athletic achievements, leading them to prioritize the sport over other aspects of their lives.” 

In Alianna’s case, bodybuilding acted for her as ivy does on a home: it took over her entire life.

Alianna is committed to taking better care of her mental and physical health while she prepares for her next competition. She also hopes to create a more balanced routine while working towards taking the stage again. A change of mindset, pricy hormonal supplements to help maintain her normal bodily functioning, and more careful monitoring of her own body will help ensure this.

Alianna’s preparation for her next competition has already begun, though she does not take the stage again until early 2024. She now considers each phase of preparation a different season in her journey towards this next show. Applying what she learned from her first show, Alianna has made the move towards a healthier mindset for her future.